187.

When you are drunk and on the sidewalk
shivering in your black tights
he spins you around to point out the dippers,
but you can name Jupiter
before he does.

When you finally sleep with him
you refuse to take your underwear off first.
You are incapable of being naked
before the other person.

This is what you do,
even though he is always the guide,
the responsible one that takes you home,
holds your hand when it's too dark, and when
it's not, and opens the car door for you
every time.

Everyone is always asking what you want
and the best you can tell them is,
everything as it happens to you.

They ask you why it isn't good enough,
how you can want both more and nothing
in the same moments. It's easy,
you say. Tell them you live in a house
with too many rooms.

Tell them, that things are not supposed
to love you.