125.

They say that deja vu occurs
because we have come to a checkpoint
that we put down in our life chart
to assure our human selves
that we are on the correct place
in our path. I have only experienced
deja vu twice, but tonight as I turned
onto my street, listening to the Magnetic Fields
with my coat buttoned up to my chin,
thirty years of gravity rushed into my body
and I understood that it was all right
to be here without you, and miss you,
and to work late, and write poems, and pause
at the flower shop's steps
every morning, and to not want
to love anybody right now, and put extra milk
in my coffee, and be angry, and hopeful
and panicked and this. I am here, I am here,
I am here.