A: There is a bruise on my thigh in the shape of your hand
and I haven’t seen you in months.
I slept last night, I think. I keep dreaming that I am sleeping
with you, but I am not sleeping with you
and I wake up in sweat and it is all very confusing.
I’m jealous of whoever is hearing the rings
of your laughter. I had exactly what I wanted. Exactly!
I had taken many things from it, but never for granted. Not that.
I am in the heartache now. Right in the middle, blood and dark
and ventricle walls screeching apart.
You say I always want more, but there is a difference
between “more” and “better.” I want this and you,
but the version of it where we’re kind to each other.
Where the wounds are clotting and every day is light
Where the wounds are clotting and every day is light
falling out of our mouths.
I want for this cascade to be a different color,
a different number. I want to live in a life
that is without your absence.
